Young Luv...... or was it??

In the late 90’s there was an excess amount of urban stories. I wasn’t into reading much in my teens until I was given “FLY Girl,” followed up by the eye opening “COLDEST WINTER EVER”. Every girl I knew secretly wanted to be Winter searching for their Midnight. Around this time I was uprooted from city living to upstate suburbia……..ugh! I tried to make the best of it since it was new year, new school and perfect time for that new boo. 1st day of school, Goodbye pleated skirts and Hello Parasuco jeans. Within the few hrs I was there I already met my match, his name was Que, he was around my age and definitely the school’s bad boy. Que was a light weight street pharmacist, always got suspended and stayed in fights. To me that was adorable……. SILLY ME! He was my bad boy and no one ever tried me because I was the new girl, Que’s girl. Our young love lasted thru Ja Rule’s “Put it on Me” and the group Next‘s “Butta Love”. We were inseparable but him being a bad boy turned me into a bad girl. I skipped class a few times and grades started slipping. How did the girl who grew up in a structure environment, always on the honor roll ended up with C’s and D’s that led to a parent –teacher conference.

This fun was short-lived bad boys can’t have a main chick for long. Dating him brought on problems like: arguing with my mother, and not really caring about anything but him. How do guys do this to us? I was once focused and he threw me so off balance. After weeks of arguing and countless chicks giving me the side-eye I decided to part ways. Of course there were moments of going back, letters and dedicated love songs but it was just over.

Que was definitely my 1st love, I have never been that consume with a person in my life. Still to this day 5 yrs later he pops up into my head. Songs from 112's “It’s over now,"Musiq's “Love," Case's “Missing you,” and Keyshia Cole’s whole first album keep our memory alive. Why is it the 1st loves affect you this strongly and somehow set the pace for future relationships. Are we secretly trying get that old thing BACK??

Doomed from the Start

Being an urban New York City kid, the schooling system pickins’ are slim. It's either Public or Catholic school. I was placed into Catholic school from the beginning ages; where dress code is enforced and discipline is given. Most of my peers attended public school where they were free to be whoever, or get into whatever. The freedom they received is something Catholic school lacked. So we Catholic school girls develop an air about us. " --You know what they say about those catholic school girls," raging with hormones waiting to be release.

Around my teens, my mom took me to a play at the Beacon Theater called "WHY DO GOOD GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS,” a perfect title. Actually the title of my life thus far! The play was colorful, dramatic and pure street love. I couldn't get enough. Even though the ending showed how thugs were not the way to go, and it ended with a gospel song, I was already stuck on the excitement. I clearly got the wrong message then what was intended. It was more so Tyler Perry..ish, and I preferred the John Singleton version. I immediately became drawn to the cutie bad boys and that lifestyle seemed far more interesting. Hey I'm from NY mostly the cute are the bad ones. So my attraction began and I couldn't wait to see who would be 1st on my roster.


Like they say,"bad boys are so much more fun then the good ones but what they don't tell ya is that bad boys break hearts".