When starting a new relationship I may seek advice from one of my close male friends from time to time and the topic we are on as of late is that of SEX, when is it the right time? He never understands why females hold out when men need it in their life.Guys may do 1/3 things; cheat, leave or respect your boundaries and wait. My friend reassured me that waiting is not the option most men prefer. When a guy is spending money and going on dates that is to lead to something more, so at the end of the night a kiss on the "head" wink wink is not enough. So with that said, it may lead guys to believe that another man is reaping the reward of their work.I can actually say I understand where he is coming from but don't agree with the reasoning.
Where is it stated that men need sex often, I mean come on now! Women, especially one that has been through some BS with men want to protect their selves and sex is one way…sometimes the only way. Not to be evil or hold anything over someone we just know that most change their ways or views rather after they receive every ounce of us.
Sex can be security for a man in a way I never thought of because it shows that the female is their's ( its not regular for a woman too have to many partners at one time). While for us girls, withholding sex is our security, feelings are not as strong and if we were to get hurt at least we have our respect. So who's security out weighs the others? No one wants to get hurt, but in most cases the female holds that tittle.
August 11, 2010
July 25, 2010
The Comeback Kid
Ladies,Ladies,Ladies isn't hard to move on from a guy when they tend to pop up every now and then to see if your still single and mess with your emotions? I could say this about a particular guy but the case is a few of them love to do this. Seriously, leave me alone or is that what I think I want you to do? Within the last yr. I've dated two guys that I met around the same time of each other. They both just so happen to pop up around the same time…all the time; my birthday,christmas & now summer. I'm even to the point where I have to double book them, sounds fun doesn't it. As of right now I'm"pretending" not to care because I truly know how this game goes oh to well.
I text, call and go on a few dates with both. Guy #1 always wants to go out and have a good time, whereas, Guy #2 prefers to stay home and cook. Both nice times & it seems that I have the upper-hand but towards the end I never do. They're both getting my time and heart but never enough to commit. Each gives me a speech on where we could be if we both tried, but thats just talk, I am always 100% in I don't do the 50%. No point to be in a relationship where your doing most of the work and the other is just coasting by.
The pattern I have come to learn with both guys is nothing new or different from others…. it comes down to sex. When sex hasn't happened well within the comeback stage that's when the calls and text stop and I'm back to square 1. You can't comeback months later and expect the same reaction every time. If you want me then you have to be comfortable with my timeframe but then again their not.
I text, call and go on a few dates with both. Guy #1 always wants to go out and have a good time, whereas, Guy #2 prefers to stay home and cook. Both nice times & it seems that I have the upper-hand but towards the end I never do. They're both getting my time and heart but never enough to commit. Each gives me a speech on where we could be if we both tried, but thats just talk, I am always 100% in I don't do the 50%. No point to be in a relationship where your doing most of the work and the other is just coasting by.
The pattern I have come to learn with both guys is nothing new or different from others…. it comes down to sex. When sex hasn't happened well within the comeback stage that's when the calls and text stop and I'm back to square 1. You can't comeback months later and expect the same reaction every time. If you want me then you have to be comfortable with my timeframe but then again their not.
July 01, 2010
Naughty or Nice?
As I reflect on my blog and life I have notice a pattern with the men I date. They are all different but one thing that links them is that many are assholes. Is it me?, why do I attract so many characters? Most of the men tell me that I'm a hard female to crack and can be a tad bit sarcastic and mean so why stick around? My adjectives are always feisty, sassy and strong never have gotten sweet or gentle. So as I reflect I wonder do I attract assholes because I'm one myself?
Personally, I have always been a bold, outspoken person and thats not gonna change while in a relationship.So if you date me I'm pretty sure you have notice that beforehand. In the beginning its all interesting and entertaining but that fades into the darkness after a few months and everyone has to return to their corners.I'm over the mess and because I have let me guard down seem to no longer be a challenge anymore. I just don't see why it has to be like two soldiers on the battlefield every single day, why can't we be on the same side instead of opponents. I might be a tough girl but I have to be to many men come with BS and I got to nip the ish early. At the end of the day I am still a woman and can appreciate romance and chivalry. WHERE HAVE THE DAYS GONE?
My new thing is to try and be sweet and maybe I'll get that in return but know it will be hard to change a side of me that has been around forever… its my edge. I would love to say "to hell with it all and if a guy can't handle my smart mouth then he isn't for me," but at the stage of my life where I'm ready maybe it is me and change is needed. Can't be an asshole and want a gentleman.
Personally, I have always been a bold, outspoken person and thats not gonna change while in a relationship.So if you date me I'm pretty sure you have notice that beforehand. In the beginning its all interesting and entertaining but that fades into the darkness after a few months and everyone has to return to their corners.I'm over the mess and because I have let me guard down seem to no longer be a challenge anymore. I just don't see why it has to be like two soldiers on the battlefield every single day, why can't we be on the same side instead of opponents. I might be a tough girl but I have to be to many men come with BS and I got to nip the ish early. At the end of the day I am still a woman and can appreciate romance and chivalry. WHERE HAVE THE DAYS GONE?
My new thing is to try and be sweet and maybe I'll get that in return but know it will be hard to change a side of me that has been around forever… its my edge. I would love to say "to hell with it all and if a guy can't handle my smart mouth then he isn't for me," but at the stage of my life where I'm ready maybe it is me and change is needed. Can't be an asshole and want a gentleman.
June 22, 2010
To Hot for TV
After the drama of the Grammy's known as Chrianna-gate I met a man named Antonio, an employee of Life and Style(media). I was walking around one day when stopped by a handsome older man. Antonio was very aggressive and caught me off guard so I went with it but I also wanted the dibs on the drama between Chris Brown and Rhianna on that grammy night. We exchanged numbers and for the first time in a long time I was going on a date. Antonio picked me up in front of my house and it was pretty windy to the point where I went to open the door but he was parked near a hydrant so it swung open and he leaped over to catch it, wasn't trying to ruin the Benz but it was windy out and he parked near the hydrant. So from the start he had a bit of an attitude going on since I almost ruin his car door,happy I didn't ruin it though cause I sure could not fix it on my temp income. As we we're driving to the bar he kept making weird comments that led me to believe I had misread his gender preference.At this time I am texting all my friends saying how horrible it was starting but still went with it,I was due for a drink.
Once we arrive to the bar and had a couple everything seem to ease.He talked about his life as a model,photographer,and a "video correspondent" aka Paparazzi-- You don't gotta lie! He talked about his mother and grandmother etc etc. It was nice being around an older man who seemed to have done a lot or at least put on that he did. A few hours later we finally left the bar and by now I am definitely feisty and in the car we start kissing and as I went to take my jacket off(why was I taking it off I don't know) and throw it in the backseat I got the shock of my life when I notice a BABY SEAT. As previously stated he mention his mom and grandma but no…. baby. All I could do was laugh at how crazy this situation turned out to be. He insisted that he told me about his baby but we know that was not the case.I then had to ask if he was married and if this was his night off. How do you not bring up your child.At his age its expected to have kids but don't say anything and then have a freaking car seat on a date.
Antonio tried his best to convince me to stick it out he was a single father and I had to take into account that he was much older than me. I continued to see him after all because we always had a great time and I wasn't trying to be his wife nor baby momma. The only part that did bothered me which was a reoccurring theme was his demanding job. As a Pap(paparazzi that is) he was always on call and even had the nerve to take me on some of his runs. I may read about a celeb's life but I don't want to film it. Weird that the baby didn't bother me but his job did. Can't be to picky now.
Once we arrive to the bar and had a couple everything seem to ease.He talked about his life as a model,photographer,and a "video correspondent" aka Paparazzi-- You don't gotta lie! He talked about his mother and grandmother etc etc. It was nice being around an older man who seemed to have done a lot or at least put on that he did. A few hours later we finally left the bar and by now I am definitely feisty and in the car we start kissing and as I went to take my jacket off(why was I taking it off I don't know) and throw it in the backseat I got the shock of my life when I notice a BABY SEAT. As previously stated he mention his mom and grandma but no…. baby. All I could do was laugh at how crazy this situation turned out to be. He insisted that he told me about his baby but we know that was not the case.I then had to ask if he was married and if this was his night off. How do you not bring up your child.At his age its expected to have kids but don't say anything and then have a freaking car seat on a date.
Antonio tried his best to convince me to stick it out he was a single father and I had to take into account that he was much older than me. I continued to see him after all because we always had a great time and I wasn't trying to be his wife nor baby momma. The only part that did bothered me which was a reoccurring theme was his demanding job. As a Pap(paparazzi that is) he was always on call and even had the nerve to take me on some of his runs. I may read about a celeb's life but I don't want to film it. Weird that the baby didn't bother me but his job did. Can't be to picky now.
June 09, 2010
Does Size Really Matter?
Wait…… before you answer that get your mind from out the gutter it isn't what you are thinking, I'm talking about weight.We all want someone physically attractive but sometimes those are the ones that are the worst to be around.I am particularly not interested in dating co-workers but after a few mishaps I said why not. As me and a female friend of mine at work were discussing our most recent dates this chubby man named David walked onto the floor I have never seen him before but everyone knew who he was. He actually worked in human resources for the company but that was on a different floor from my office,same company two different floors. As my friend and I were talking about my situation he invited his self into the convo and later asked me on a date. Hesitation was my 1st reaction since it was random and we worked for the same company but then I couldn't help but notice his bulge and not the good kind. His waste line showed that he definitely didn't miss a meal. Just to be nice I went with it, I mean it was a free meal and couldn't be worst then what I had experience thus far. We kept planning to go for a week but I was always getting off later than him so one day I just said we both just got paid so when we going? It didn't take long for us to agree that night was our night.
On a Tuesday right after work we went out. Most people that work in the city take the train and I assumed we would do the same but to my surprised he drives to work so it was door to door service…Check! In the car we talked and he let me play whatever song I wanted which is nice, never once did he mention where he was taking me. Minutes later we arrived in Brooklyn at this cute Spanish spot and had lobster and salmon, drank out of fruits and never did I see the bill. The normal getting to know one another talk was quite easy. Afterwards, he drove me straight home which was a good 45 min. away but he did it. Funny how that night was one of my best dates ever, it was unexpected and entertaining.
A few days later he wanted to take me out again during our lunch break but that deemed to be a bit challenging. It was rush hour and I wanted to be on time whereas he was with the company longer so he didn't mind what time he got back in. The lunch date was so rushed I had to order something and eat it all within 15 mins. then had to hail a cab to travel 25 blocks back to work. Now I am running to the office but because he was a lil overweight could not get but so far without having to stop. Once we finally settled he was breathing so hard that he had to sit down and place he head between his knees, can't lie I was disgusted! David tried to get his self together and was gonna talk with my supervisor but that would not be necessary. No Thanks!
During that time I was contemplating taking a break from dating and he didn't make the cut. When I think about my good dates his always wins but I never see myself with him because I can't "see" myself with him. Is that too shallow? I mean we all want a good man but what if he arrives in a different package?Hmmm just thoughts.
On a Tuesday right after work we went out. Most people that work in the city take the train and I assumed we would do the same but to my surprised he drives to work so it was door to door service…Check! In the car we talked and he let me play whatever song I wanted which is nice, never once did he mention where he was taking me. Minutes later we arrived in Brooklyn at this cute Spanish spot and had lobster and salmon, drank out of fruits and never did I see the bill. The normal getting to know one another talk was quite easy. Afterwards, he drove me straight home which was a good 45 min. away but he did it. Funny how that night was one of my best dates ever, it was unexpected and entertaining.
A few days later he wanted to take me out again during our lunch break but that deemed to be a bit challenging. It was rush hour and I wanted to be on time whereas he was with the company longer so he didn't mind what time he got back in. The lunch date was so rushed I had to order something and eat it all within 15 mins. then had to hail a cab to travel 25 blocks back to work. Now I am running to the office but because he was a lil overweight could not get but so far without having to stop. Once we finally settled he was breathing so hard that he had to sit down and place he head between his knees, can't lie I was disgusted! David tried to get his self together and was gonna talk with my supervisor but that would not be necessary. No Thanks!
During that time I was contemplating taking a break from dating and he didn't make the cut. When I think about my good dates his always wins but I never see myself with him because I can't "see" myself with him. Is that too shallow? I mean we all want a good man but what if he arrives in a different package?Hmmm just thoughts.
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